My 1st Kiss

I will start by writing you about my first kiss with another man...


Let me tell you the story of how this guy named Juan ended up being the first guy I ever kissed before. Iwas 16 years old living in Los Angeles, California. All of my closest family lived in this house that actually was a duplex. From the front, you would think it was just one house, but, in reality, there were two. Both parts of the house had 4 bedrooms. In the front part, my brother and his wife shared a room,this older man and one of his 2 daughters occupied another room, the third room was taken by the other oldest daughter of the same man, and the last room was shared between 2 friends of my brother. I lived inthe backside of the duplex with my parents in a room,1 of my brothers in another room, another brother and I shared the third room, and my sister with her kid onthe last room. When this guy named Juan (one of the 2 friends of my brothers) moved into the front part of house, I saw him, and could not help to feel something"weird" inside of me; I felt things that I had never felt before. Every time I would see him, my heart would pump blood faster. Just by looking at him, my days would be very joyful.

(Let me tell you about my brothers so you canunderstand something.) The brother before I was born was 6 years older than me, the brother before that had10 years more than me…..so you can imagine that I didnot grow up spending time with my brothers that much because of our age difference. With that said, my brothers liked going out to the dance clubs. They would always come home talking about how much of agreat time they had. Juan also would go with them. When he spoke about all the girls that wanted to be with him and danced with him, I felt hurt inside. In the few times that I was around all my brothers and their friends, they would always talk bad about gay people. Juan would always bring up the fact that he felt grossed out because this guy at his work liked him. In other words, they were the typical latino macho men. By this time, I was going out with one ofthe daughters of the guy that also lived with them. I really liked her a lot, but I knew that I did not felt the same feeling as I felt when I saw Juan around. The reason why I was with her was? I am (was attrated to innocence) ...she had never been with a guy sexually, was very loving, and weclicked in some way. It was already one whole year we had been going out and she still would give me a hardtime when I tried to touch her breasts. LOL. Being that young and hormones going all crazy, well it was abit torture physically because she would not let me touch her, and emotionally with Juan. (I have tostate that I was content being with that girl because deep in my mind I knew that she would not expect me to have sex with her...and I wasn't going to be up for such thing! LOL)

I did not give up on Juan; even though, there were times that I knew there was no chance in hell that there would be ever anything going on between him and me, I still hold on to the thought. Juan got a girlfriend!! :-( This almost broke my heart. When my strength was almost fading out, something happened, though! My brothers let me hang out with them and their friends while drinking in Juan’s room. Back then, I had never had any drinks, so it did not take much for me to feel tipsy. I remember that I laid down on Juan’s bed close by the wall. All I could hear is the delayed voices of my brothers in my head talking about me being drunk. One of them was saying to wake me up and go to my place, but the other one argued that if I went home in the condition that I was, my parents would notice and they would be in trouble. ;-) After a while, my brothers left, and all the guys that were drinking stayed in the room aswell. There were only 2 beds. Juan’s bed had me on by the wall, Juan right next to me in the middle, and another guy at the other end. The other bed just had 2 guys. Some time at night, while daydreaming about being in Juan’s bed, I looked around and all were asleep. I even remember the smell of Juan's pillow. He could have made the Zest commercial. Then I rolled and faced Juan as he was facing me too. I closed my eyes, and……………yep!!!! He kissed me! I first tried not to kiss back because I was afraid he would stop if he knew that I awake. He kissed me again. His lips felt so good touching mine. I almost had anorgasm there. The second time he kissed me, I still had my eyes closed, but kissed back. Still kissing, he then started feeling my body all over. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his "thing." (My heart wasgoing 100 Miles per hour.) I started to feel it; he was about 7” and uncut. Then he closed his eyes, and was trying to give me signals with his hand (slowly pushing my head towards his tool) to go down on him. I was very nervous! Just imagine how excited I was atthat time. The guy I have been in love for so long actually makes a move on me! Not only that, we arearound more people in the same room and bed. I managed to get down there and take my tongue for alicking ride. LOL I was holding it with one hand from the base pulling it into my mouth licking it with my tongue. Although inexperienced, deep-throating it asmuch as I could. I hoped it was the “ultimate”pleasure for him. It turns out that he came in my mouth! :o I am not very fond of cum; I would have to admit. :( After his ecstasy, I could not hold the cum in my mouth so I gagged and spit it on the covers. Shortly after that, he got up and went to use therestroom. Then we fell asleep. The next day, before he was going to head out to work, I went in his room to watch TV with him. He kept looking at me weird. He asked me if I remembered what had happened lastnight. I lied, and told him, “No.” He went on telling me that I had giving him a blowjob and that he really liked it. That no one had ever done it so good. Now that I think about it, he might have just be bull-shitting me just to get more, but I was naïve and really liked him a lot. So I did not care whathis intentions were towards me. After that day, we would mess around every other day. It was crazy because we both had our girlfriends. I knew that hewas not like me, though. He never did any “favors” tome. I was not expecting them, but just knew that hemight not feel comfortable doing those things just yetor at all. He did not mind us kissing nor holding each other while watching TV in his room on his bed. I would get scared that some one might catch us because his room door could not be locked, but he did not seem to care. Little things like that gave me the impression that I was a little more than just physical pleasure for him. He wanted to have anal sex with me, but I was too scared to try it. I also didn't want to loose my virginity to a guy that I knew wasn't "like me." After 2 months of our secretive relationship, he moved out from my brother’shouse. :-( I never heard from him at all; he moved up north with his brothers without noticed or a sign left behind!

When I started 11th grade, I got a job as a bus boy in this fancy restaurant located in Brentwood, CA. It so happens that one of my brother’s friend was going to get married, and he needed some help with his party. My brother asked me and several other guys to go over to the party and be the servers. We were going to get paid!!!! So, I agreed. When this famous party came around, I was doing my job-waiting tables. After the reception, a lot more people were coming in. Gues swho was there? Yep! Believe it or not, Juan showed up to the party (to my surprise). I got him a drink andthen he asked me to go outside with him. I did! We were talking out by the parking place. All of the sudden, he holds my shoulders looking straight into my eyes and gives me a kiss. He tells me that he has not forgotten about me; that I am special to him. We kissed some more and more; shortly after that, we heardpeople coming out from the party already. It was seconds till midnight, and everyone was going home. He held me tight by his side walking towards his truck while people were coming out of the party not caring what they would think or say. Then he let go and told me good bye! This time, I have not seen him ever since. Last I heard, he was married, lived in LasVegas, and already had at least one kid.